Getting the Full Transcript

In my last visit to IIUM Kuantan Campus, I went there to get the full transcript from the administration of the university. In order to do that, I had to go to few offices to get stamps and signatures. They were namely the Legal Unit, Finance Division, Library, Residential College and the Security.

If you have no problem with those offices, they shouldn't have problem to immediately give you the stamp and signature. In my case, I had no problem and I finished doing the thing just within 1-2 hour.

Unlike some of my friends, they didn't know that they still had debt with the Finance Division that they need to settle before they can get their full transcripts. Surprisingly, the amount of debt was umimagineably high that they didn't notice that they had that debt (you tounge might twist I suppose :P).

Back to my case, since I knew a person from the Finance Division, I referred to him/her prior to the visit so that I could prepare the amount to pay. Yes, I got some unsettled balance from the study fees and that was fully under my knowledge. Every semester I checked my financial statements from the portal and I intentionally let the balance to be paid later. So, it's highly advised to check the portal occasionally in every semester.

I think it's good to give examples. A friend of mine, he/she didn't know that he/she got debt as much as RM690! And another one, +-RM900!

After finishing everything, I went to the start point at One Stop Centre again to submit the form and finally got the full transcript, alhamdulillah~

(Tapi dalam hati sebenarnya menyumpah gak tengok kertas tu pasal perkara ni)

Well... Not much about the clearance. But one thing I will never forget during finishing the thing is when I met a junior in one of the offices. As far as I knew, to me at least, she was not very close with me. She was a cute girl, shorter than my chest, wearing nice long tudung. With an innocent face she asked me this question:

Bro Zaki buat apa kat sini? Menyebok je!

Dik... Pandai kau kenakan aku STBB ye... Kalau kau jenis yang rapat dengan aku, aku tak terkejut kot. Haha...

Bulu II

Premise #1
Duduk sama rendah, berdiri er... tak sama tinggi.

Premise #2
I always desperately wish to ask this unique question to some unique people but unfortunately I couldn't find the strength to do so. It sounds like this:

Dalam setahun berapa kali kau cabut bulu hidung?

Premise #3
My body height is 180 cm and I am grateful.

STBB Perpisahan

The juniors are leaving one by one since they have finished the final exam while I have to stay in Kuantan until end of May to finish my FYP completely.

Some of them said their final wish to me before leaving back to home and spend their 3 months break with their family. Some others gave me cute presents as a token of appreciation. Wu~ Thank you very much!

These are among STBB's collected related to the occasion:

One:

Zaki, nah ambil ni kek secret recipe. Thanks sebab jadi senior yang baik. Makan lah kek ni. Biar jadi darah daging. Nanti ko akan selalu ingat aku. Haha!

Two:

"Aku nak amik DVD yang ko pinjam daripada aku" he said.

"Owh. Nasib baik ko ingat. Ko dah nak balik ni, ada apa-apa lain yang tertinggal dengan aku tak?" I asked.

"Ada. Hati aku" he replied.

:((

How's the Result?

We were back from dinner when suddenly we saw a friend of ours who just got discharged from the hospital due to an accident.

Being concern, we came to him asking his condition.

He asked, "Hajji, how's your leg?"

"Owh ko tanya khabar kaki dia aje?" I asked.

We burst in laugh.

Then he asked some more, "How's the operation? How's the result?"

"Yeah, how many A's?" I added.

"You better watch out!" He pointed his finger to me angrily.

I burst in laugh. Kelakar la ko dik~

STBB Blackout Version

We had a black out just now, the real Earth Hour. Hehe...

As always happens in college, when suddenly we live without the lights during the night, we'll shout our lungs out. These are among the STBBs noted:

Hidup Najib!

Dota!!! Dota!!! Jom main Dota wei!!!

Arsenal sayur!

Wei tahu la gelap. Jangan buat benda lagho!

Senyap la!!! Aku nak stadi esok exam!!!

Senyap la!!! Bini aku nak tido!!!

STBB: Belajar Memandu

I trained Danial to drive car last Monday and Tuesday. Not only him, but his friend, Teha also joined us during the training. From my observation, they were both doing very well and they could get the practical part really fast.

Yesterday, when we went for a dinner, suddenly he cursed the car in front of us for doing a slight mistake. Shocked, I asked why he did that and he answered: "Aku tengah belajar nak marah orang buat salah bila memandu. Macam ko"

I replied, "Sabar weh... Syllabus tu belom sampai lagi. Nanti aku ajar la"

Err... Abang borek, adik rintik?

STBB: Senario Lewat Petang

Aku harap kamu pernah baca entri Senario Lewat Malam di blog Penagih Dadah sebelum kamu baca entri di bawah.

Atau Maghrib
terpulang mahu pilih yang mana
ade aku kesah?

Pergi ke Gedung Pantai Timur
bersama seorang anak-Cina dan dua rakan perempuannya

Owh ya!
sebelum itu
kami sudah bersedia dengan wuduk kerana tidak mahu berbasah-basahan di gedung
mahu terus solat sejurus menjejak kaki di situ

Sampai di gedung
berjalan ke dalam
aku pesan kepada mereka
"Jangan ada yang sampai sentuh aku. Kang batal wuduk aku"

"Baik lah..."
mereka menjawab.

Keluar idea mahu membuat STBB
"Sekali dalam tu nanti ada Cina (perempuan) terpegang aku. Batal jugak wuduk aku~"
diikuti tawa mereka berdua

Tiba-tiba, si anak-Cina datang kepada aku
memegang tangan aku
"Aku Cina"
katanya

Sekejap. Ni siapa yang perempuan nih?

STBB: Behind the Scene

I think I've learnt a lot from writing the STBB entries...

I was at one stage of age felt that I got too easily irritated. Not only that, I was too defensive also. U played me, u served your right – I’d pay back! That was who Zaki once upon a time. Until a friend of mine made a statement:

“Aku dah tak nak la cakap dengan ko la camni. Gurau sikit pun tak boleh!”

Well, that again got me irritated.

That’s basically it. I don’t like to be too much revealing about who I was years ago. To relate this with STBB, it was where I introspected myself: why shouldn’t take it positively? Why shouldn’t I take joke as joke, not more than that that it would hurt my heart?

Then slowly I changed myself, the way I perceived words from people. I tried to be more positive and open to people’s difference.

If previously I responded STBB’s with a broken heart, but now smile always decorates my lips.

Now relate this with the symptoms of STBB infection:

Among others, it may cause reddened face, acute heartache, burnt ears and their internal parts, hypertension and high blood temperature (but not up to feverish point). Besides that, to certain people with disordered psychological conditions, the signs and symptoms are completely different. Among others, they are hyperhydrated gum, dislocated jaw bones, and to a greater extent; temporary loss of memory, uncoordinated physical movements and loss of body balance. In rare cases, no signs or symptoms claimed.

Note the word disordered psychological conditions. Huhu… That’s who I am now. :P

STBB: It's Up to How You Take It

See the noodles? It's Udon, which tastes just like my Fried Fettucine. Duh~

Premise #1

You're a guy in a cafe, sitting next to a table. You're in the mood of wearing a pink shirt. You're all by yourself.

Suddenly a guy that you know comes to you and says, "Hey, you look great in pink!"

You ask, "Is it a compliment or an offense?"

He answers, "It's up to how you take it"

You reply, "I take it as an offense!"

Verdict: Tak boleh buat kawan... Cakap macam tu pun dah terasa. Blah aaa!


Premise #2

You're a guy in a cafe, sitting next to a table. You're in the mood of wearing a pink shirt. You're all by yourself.

Suddenly a guy that you know comes to you and says, "Hey, you look great in pink!"

You ask, "Is it a compliment or an offense?"

He answers, "It's up to how you take it"

You reply, "I take it as a compliment. Thanks!"

Verdict: Haaa... kan best kalo semua orang berfikiran terbuka dan positif selalu.

STBB Versi Kereta

One:

My friends and I went to a mall. I couldn't help myself but to take a nap in the car while they do their shopping. I parked my car outside the mall, considering it's easier rather to climb to the mall just to park and got to pay for it.

Suddenly, when I woke up I saw a notice. I was clueless, didn't know when it took the place.

I got summoned!

Argh. Ok, my bad I didn't pay for the car park. Fortunately, the summon only cost RM5. Then I went to pay it at the parking counter.

Makcik, tadi saya dalam kereta la. Tido sekejap. Ngantuk sangat. Bukan kalau ada orang dalam kereta, tak payah bayar parking?

Parking tu untuk kereta, bukan untuk orang tido. Apa ingat hotel ke apa?


Two:

I went to help a friend of my junior who involved in an accident. I took her from the location back to campus. In the car, she sat at the back trying to calm herself, alone. Suddenly she broke the silence. She told us how the accident happened until that she concluded:

Kalau tak kerana seat belt, tak tahu apa akan jadi dengan aku.

Dah tu, ko kat belakang tu ko pakai seat belt tak?

Erk, tak.

Doa Suami Isteri

6.30pm. We were on our way back from Tasik Chini and the rain fell so heavily.

Ok ye anak-anak. Kalau hujan macam ni, apa doanya?

Everybody was silent, didn't answer the question.

Baiklah anak-anak. Nampaknya tak ada seorang pun yang tahu. Mari ustaz ajar. Ustaz baca anak-anak ikut ye?

Allahumma

The rest of us folowed, Allahumma

Soyyiban

Soyyiban

Nafi'a

Nafi'a

Bagus ye anak-anak.

One of us said, Tiba-tiba teringat pulak cerita Adikku Sayang masa kecil-kecil dulu.

A'ah. Selalu tengok cerita tu.

Then the ustaz continued, Baiklah doa seterusnya ialah doa masuk tandas.

He recited, we listened and we repeated.

Doa keluar tandas
Doa memakai pakaian
Doa makan
Doa menaiki kenderaan
Doa akhir tahun
Doa awal tahun

Suddenly one asked, Ustaz, kalau doa berjimak pula bagaimana?

Owh doa yang itu malam sikit ye anak-anak. Tunggu nanti rancangan Abangku Sayang.

Scenes in a Coffee House

Scene 1

My mum owns a coffee house.

Owh, there’s a customer just came in. As a temporary worker in the coffee house during the break, I took my responsibility to take the order.

Minum bang?

No answer. Maybe he needs me to repeat.

Minum apa ye bang?

Teh ais!

Owh, I thought you’re deaf or mute? Heh.

Owh teh ais. Siap!
Mbak! Teh ais satu!

Then, the Indonesian worker laughed. Why? Is anything wrong? What’s so funny?

I went approaching her.

Kenape ketawa, mbak? Saya orderkan untuk orang tu la.

Iya. Tapi ya orang itu ngak betul! Orang gila! Selalu aja dia duduk situ.


Scene 2

My fingers are skillful to make curry puff (read: karipap).

Like the other days, it was my duty to prepare it. Suddenly, a customer came to me.

Wah! Pandainya anak bujang ni buat karipap. Tengok tu, cantik! Kalah anak dara buat. Kalau macam ni tukar nama la. Zakiah.

Adoi... Not another STBB, is it?


Scene 3

There were 4 men around the table. They were like everybody else; talk, smoke, eat a little bit, drink and that’s basically the rotation.

But, I noticed something, something really wrong but only experienced people would know.

Mak, yang empat orang tu, mat pit kan?

A’ah.

Related entry: Fenomena Orang Gila di Kedai Mak Aku

Not Another STBB

Saya comel.

LOL

But people, have you ever thought, what's the difference between STBB and Loyar Burok?

Let me give you a situation:

3 friends are in front of TV, watching. Suddenly, an unknown singer sings.

"Siapa tu?"
"Anis Aniesa"
"Siapa dia tu?"
"Tu..." memuncungkan bibir ke TV.

STBB or Loyar Burok?

If Biomedical Science is not My Forte, I'll Go Modelling

Height? Tick
Handsome? Tick
Photogenic? Tick

Six packs - Work out more
Health - Work on stamina

Peha besar - Ok. Rejected. No size for trousers and jeans.

Bulu

At Pak Lah, Fahmi, Izzuddin, Danial and I went for breakfast.

Oit, tangan ko berbulu tapi jari tak berbulu pulak eh?
A’ah.
Aku plak tengok ah ni. Tangan berbulu, jari berbulu. Macam bigfoot!
Tak cakap tak cakap~
Haha~
Ko sah-sah ada darah Pakistan kot. Aku plak, kurang bulu. Tengok tangan, dagu, pipi, dada. Nipis-nipis je bulu. Macam pondan.
Tak cakap tak cakap~ (Fine~ dia pulang paku buah keras dan-dan tu jugak)
Ada orang nak kurangkan bulu dengan cara wax. Tak sakit ke ha?
Sakit la!
Aku takyah wax. Cabut je. Kalau tengah study tu, diam-diam aku cabut bulu ketiak aku. (membuat gaya mencabut bulu ketiak).
Hmmmpphh…
Alamak. Ko annoyed ke? Sorry sorry...

He didn’t finish his second plate of nasi lemak.

Sorry bro! ;p

Footnote: The sentences in italics are my conversations containing chronically excessive STBB fires. Huhu~

STBB YM Version

This entry might be offensive for some readers. Personal advisory is advised.

When you are exchanging messages through Yahoo Messenger, it's almost like normal conversation where you can say anything you like, but of course in the form of written words.

So, you can never leave the room without making STBB. Haha... This is my pick for today. The name has been changed to preserve the privacy.

Datin Faizura: pasni no respon la kat org gila camtu
Datin Faizura: mmg dasar anu kecut
Muhammad Zaki: =)) STBB!
Muhammad Zaki: minta izin tulis kat blog!!!!
Datin Faizura: sila lah tulis!
Datin Faizura: hahaha
Datin Faizura: akak mmg slalu ckp camtu esp kat lelaki
Muhammad Zaki: :P
Muhammad Zaki: *so saye ni sape?
Muhammad Zaki: mak pondan nyah!

There are 2 STBB's above. Can you spot them?

Kah kah!

STBB of the Year

ONE:

Are you stressed out after reading all those notes for the final exam? Watching this 1:24 long video would help to reduce it.

"Adik tidoq. Satgi adik terkejut, terpelanting.. ha.. Pecah kepala!"

Thanks to: Matematis Muda

TWO:

Sometimes Nuffnang provides wrong information. Duh~

Indirect STBB Version 1.0

"I'm sorry if I made this meeting a boring one" she apologized.
"Ah, kalau boring dah lama kitorang blah~" I replied.
"Jahat~!" she looked annoyed.
I whispered to myself, "I love this meeting la!"

3.30 am, Deepavali morning, after a long pillow talk.
"Maaf la kalau mengganggu..." a junior-gonna-be-blogger said.
"Kalau mengganggu dah lama aku halau kau keluar daripada bilik aku tau!" I replied.
We laughed.

I love to mean the other way round.
But it sounds harsh. Kan? :)

Beware of My Mouth

We had the final meeting, a post mortem for the SCIENCESS 07/08. Prior to that, we were to fill in a form to give our opinions towards each other.

These are among the comments that I got about myself:

• Sometime need a respect to others eg: during meeting don’t only think your idea, ask other opinion too.
• Really spirited, but some time irritating.
• more sensitive
• unpredictable
• Sometimes can be over confident, need to consider other party as well.
• Foul mouth kot..
• Like to advise others but need to improve on the way of giving the advice because if someone doesn’t know him that well would misunderstood his intention
• Openness…direct sgt =p
• Words
• Tend to hurt others’ feeling
• More humble
• Respects others opinions
• Don’t be too proud of yourself

Hey people, they're all about the words coming out from my mouth (and some other about my bad attitude). Ahem, dare to hear some?

And hey, I'm open to comments and criticisms. Just give me some!

I think I really need to cope living with the real orang Melayu kot?

STBB Raya Version 2.0

“Wah, Zaki dah slim la sekarang. Bentuk badan idaman!” – Pakcik

“Isk. Dah besar berb*l* pun masih dapat duit raya. Tak malu!” – Mulut laser

“Abang Zaki tak dapat duit raya daripada Mak Uda ke?”
“Takpe. Abang Zaki kan dah kerja. Jual biskut” – Szakif

“Pakcik ko tu dah ada bini tiga pun masih nak kawin lagi. Dengar-dengarnya nak kawin lagi, senyap-senyap. Gila p***!” – Tiada nama