Frustration

Frustration – a word that I mentioned in last entry as asam garam in life. Today (Thursday) it came again, hurting my feeling.

“Kenapa nama ko takde, Zaki?” asked Safwan on our way back to college.

“Entah, mana la aku tahu. Dah undi tak cukup. Mungkin bukan nasib aku untuk dicalonkan.”

“Ye la... ko kan nak sangat jadi...”

“Memang! Aku tak nafikan aku memang nak jadi SCIENCESS (Science Students Society) Exco, tapi hari ni dah terbukti nama aku takde. Nak buat macam mane? To be frank bila aku tak nampak nama aku dalam list tadi, terus rasa kecewa. Sentap! Pasal tu la aku senyap je tadi lepas pengumuman tu.”

“Owh...”

“TAPI lepas tu aku fikir balik apa yang ko sendiri pernah kata kat aku – jangan mengharap jawatan, nanti akan membebankan. Kalau ko nak tahu, aku pegang nasihat ko tu, aku tanam dalam hati sampai sekarang. Lepas beberapa minit aku fikir-fikir, I’m cool! Sebab ni bukanlah kali pertama aku tak dapat apa yang aku harapkan, so I live with it la... Mesti ada hikmah di sebaliknya.”

“Hm... bagus la...”

Thanks Safwan for motivating me long ago and miraculously it stays tough in my mind. We talked about this when we odah-ed about myself during studying at SAMBEST where I didn’t get (not even nominated) the prefect post. Lastly, the hikmah (I think la) was shown when the SPM result revealed. 10 A’s! Who knows if I destined to be prefect, I won’t get such a good result because of being too busy with non-academic works?

It’s not because I’m gipang (gila pangkat), but it’s because I think that I’m ready to hold such post based on my experience and skills that I have. But now I have reset the mind set – not necessarily people think the way we do. Maybe we think that we are eligible, but to other people, maybe they don’t think so and that explains why they don’t vote for me. Plus, Islam does not encourage the followers to love post or appointment and that’s the one I should put faith in.

Ok, THAT’S IT. I didn’t get any post in SCIENCESS Exco. No more question. TITIK. To those who have been selected, congratulations, especially to Lutfi who has been selected to be the new President of SCIENCESS. Clap clap clap... Cayalah bro! Now let’s bring SCIENCESS to the betterment. Takkan selamanya nak terperuk buat program peringkat kulliyyah je?

SCIENCESS's logo.